What I tell Colleen sometimes isn't just dramatic fluff. I really am heading for some kind of mental breakdown, although this is not always a bad thing.
Yes, I keep a lot of feelings pent up inside me, but at the same time, is it necessary to always share my feelings with people for the sake of "venting?" The answer, in my eyes, is when the person I open up with is someone who I care about on more than just a "friendship" level. That is, it is someone who can understand not just my immediate problem, but understands the historical background of my problem (attach an 's' to that, actually).
Thus my problem becomes full-circle:
Lacey understands me better than any of my other friends, in ways that no one else can. However, opening up to her does no good when she does not care about my problems. Thus the issue: the person I desire to be the most open with does not want to listen (partly because some of my stresses are in relation to her). What happens now? What should be the course of action?
I'm not trying to dis my other friends. All of my friends are wonderful, but I've not been one to historically open up to great depths without forming a firm friendship foundation first... sounds corny, I know...
I'll try to blog some more on this later. For now I have a few chapters to read for ethnic studies...
Out.
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