I'm stressed in ways that no one else can understand, and I'm having a hell of a time determining exactly how I feel.
I've been restless in my sleep lately, namely because of frequent dreams that see me put in awkward social situations. What's worse, I'm finding that these dreams are so based in reality that I have trouble distinguishing them from the realities of my daily routine during some moments, leading me to blend fact and fiction.
What if I have a dream where I punch someone in the face at work, and in the morning, that dream is more of a memory than a dream - as if it actually happened? Next thing I know, I'm at work freaking out about seeing this person, expecting a negative reaction from them.
Now, this particular example did not happen nor take place, but it's just an example of how my dreams are affecting my perception of reality. What's also bugging me is that I'm sometimes finding dreams to be preferable to real life, which causes me to zone-out a lot throughout my day. At home it's not a big deal, but at work or with friends when I'm supposed to be attentive, getting lost in a perfect dream world is an irresistible inconvenience. What does it mean if I can not distinguish between dreams and reality? I'm not exactly sure, but I've conjectured in my fiction that such a scenario would lead to horribly bad things.
Of course, this very problem is what prompted me to write Event Horizon: I wanted to explore the dangerous, blurry line between dreams and reality, and while I've always considered myself firmly grounded in the real world, I'm lately beginning to become lost on the blurry edge of my unconscious mind.
I need to find a way to anchor myself back down to firm reality, I suppose.
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