What If...

Blue October - not only a pretty sweet band - but now, my new personal favorite! The above quote is from their song "Congratulations."

Their songs rock.

At no other time in my life has music spoke to me in such perfect ways - with girls giving me trouble, my college life stressing me, and my own life taking seemingly no direction, I turn to Blue October as my solice.

The following people mean something to me in my life: Colleen, Lacey, Jaime, Kelly, and Austin...

What Could've Been

What was once going to be a cheerly blog entry about my short story "Event Horizon" is now this:

My mind bleeds with possibilities, none of which are accessible to me.

My minds bleeds with pain, my heart aches of loneliness.

My life is over.

New Stuff!

I've created, in the last 10 mins, a brand-new blog, titled B3: Warped View.

What's unique about it? Every single post will be an image; images of unique things in my life, images I find on the internet, or images I created (prolly from Photoshop).

Stay tuned. The link is on the right.

Recovering From Disease

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Oh my, what is there ever to do?

I left my flash drive at home today. It's my life. All of my major end-of-the-semester projects are on it, along with my Game Library ACP project.

I feel naked.

For some reason, even renaming "Blocchi" to "Event Horizon" has suddenly given me a whole bunch of new ideas for what to write about next when I dive back into it this summer. I'm hoping to finish it in the fall. Here's hoping, anyway.

Bingo!

"Blocchi" has now become known as "Event Horizon," named after the planer space that borders a blank hole - the point at which matter (even light!) no longer exists.

Lost in Transition

I turn to an old classic to kick off tonight:

You look to the stars for answers
Your face glowing in blue
You smile at the thought that there's something out there
Suddenly a smile turns to a stare...

Smash Mouth said it the best. More and more of my smiles have been turning to blank, lost stares. Summer began last weekend for me. I'm lazier than hell with school. The off-time needs to get here now.

My hit list tonight:

• I'm working on a project, now titled "Game Library," which is a Windows VB.NET application that I plan to use to keep track of all the vidoe games I own. I plan to release the beta version of this (currently) non-open-source app within the next few weeks. I'm excited, as this is my first fairly advanced program that I've written to demonstrate my programming abilities.

• I've been thinking about my friends lately, which has led me to think about my past, my present, and my future. I barely remember where I came from, I don't like where I am today, and I have no clue where I'm going next. Fuckingshit.

• Change is the buzzword this semester. Not since I met Lacey my sophomore year of high school have I undergone so much fundamental change over the course of only a few months. Reflecting back on how I started this semester, and seeing how I am coming out of it, the only word that comes to mind, summing it all up, is change. My job has changed, my finances have changed (butt-poor, I'm afraid); I've become a lot closer to Jaime, farther from Lacey (...); video games are a spare-time activity to me now, and I'm taking my future career more seriously than ever. Oh, and then there's all the new people I've met, including Colleen and company :-)

This summer I look forward to my return to biking, getting smashed with Lacey on her 21st birthday, spending lots of time outdoors, and saving up for a new school year... potentially my last!

I'm heading to bed soon, so I'm out.

The Key to the Future...

I can't hide the truth:

I cried tonight. Hard. One of my best friends, Jaime, did not move on to the next round of Buckeye Country Star II. She's an incredible singer, and quite frankly, my new inspiration. Those judges are jerks, and I know we all have bad days, but there will be another time!

In other news...

I don't know how I feel right now. For once it's not girls in my life that confuse me. It's... me that confuses me. I'm constantly having these weird flashbacks - memories if you will - of times long gone. Not just images of my past, but experiences. There are times that I feel like I've moved back in time by five or ten years, to what I would now consider my golden years - early high school, middle school.

As elated as I am about my awesome friends, including my newest peeps from Colleen's posse, I'm feeling as if though I no longer need anyone to be happy, and that a return to the pre-Lacey, super-single-and-proud-of-it-Brandon days are just what I need. I try to spend these warm spring nights reflecting on my past, just to make sure I've become what I envisioned so many years ago.

It's 10:30 and I have work in the morning. I'm going to bed in a bit, but not before returning to my reflections and, perhaps... crying a little bit more... not for the stresses in my life, but for the Brandon I fear I've become...

Back from the Dead

Summer's almost here.

Thank. Fucking. God.

Or don't... I'm not religious, afterall.

It's been a hectic past few weeks. School projects and the stress of trying to pull all A's, B's, and a C for my grades have kept me away from the things I love... blogging, writing, gaming, enjoying the outdoors...

Suffice to say, in another week and a half, I'll be able to enjoy these things once again. I can't wait to get back to working on Blocchi and Almost Gone. Those two stories should be done by the end of summer, allowing me to get next Fall semester started with a clean slate. Which reminds me, next semester should be another repeat of this semester... all afternoon classes.

My sister also starts college next semester. For some reason, that is very exciting for me.

As much as I want to sit here and write, write, write... I do have a CS program that I need to get back to work on. So, my friends... I'll talk to you... tomorrow.

Out.

Soon to Come...

Tuesday, April 11th:

The Return of The Blog.

I'll be back.