Valentine's Day 2008
I have a few things to cover in this post, namely two large topics. A couple of ideas have been floating about my mind lately, and I present them in time for Valentine's Day - that love it or hate it day of the year where lovers melt into each other's arms and singles grimace at the very thought.
But it's not all gloom and doom... and here's two posts to prove it, one for each side of the fence - my ideals on how to maintain a strong relationship with your significant other, and one to solace those single souls out there.
I must thank the Silversun Pickups for inspiration in my titles.
Little Lover's So Polite
I've maintained a total of four "official" boyfriend/girlfriend relationships in my life thus far, and I'm deep into my fifth. I've maintained a number of "unofficial" relationships as well - close friendships, semi-acquaintances, and various other kinds of "togetherness." All this in just five years (I dove into the relationship game at age 18). Thus far, I have accrued some basic notions and experience that I believe dramatically affect a relationship: there are things to do, and things not to do. Pointers, tips, advice. However you want to look at them, here's just a few things that I believe help to make a strong relationship.
- Commitment - Maybe it goes without saying, but what good is a couple if they aren't committed to each other? I'm not talking about loyalty - instead, I'm referring to the fact that both people involved in a relationship should want to be in that relationship - they want to make it work and they should be committed to working through any problems that arise. Fights and differences are not problems for a committed couple.
- Moderation - I can't say that I'm experienced enough to have practiced this fully, but I do believe that a strong couple should not be around one another all the time. Everyone needs some alone time, and maybe even some "off" time (that is, time spent away from the world for an extended period of time). Just because a couple might be happy 100% of the time doesn't mean that they won't one day become sick of one another. A lot of factors influence when and how a couple should spend time together, but I believe that each person should schedule enough time away from their partner to remain their own independent person.
- Friends - I've seen a lot of couples so deeply intertwined with one another that they become their own entity, away from their respective friends. Can a couple be each other's best friend? Certainly, but that doesn't mean that they don't each need their own friends either. A solid couple should not only be best friends with one another, but each person should also maintain tes with their current best friends, and never let that up.
- Socially Involved - Similar to the point mentioned above, a couple should try to split their time wisely: a weekend out alone is nice, but two months of weekends alone, while cutting ties with their friends is a problem. I've lost many friends to relationships, and I hope that I never do it myself. A solid couple should be able to balance their time spent with each other against the time spent with their own friends, or out as a couple with friends.
- Individuality - The coming together of two people means that two people found something attractive about one another. As a relationship trudges on, it's all-too-easy to become tied up in what the couple shares together, rather than celebrate and retain the original individuality that a person should.
- Interests - A couple should maintain similar interests, quite obviously. On the other hand, there should be enough different interests between each to maintain a degree of individuality. I feel that a good rule of thumb is 60/40 - about 60% of your interests should be shared or similar, with 40% being your own.
Well Thought Out Twinkles
For those people who don't necessarily have "a special someone" on Valentine's Day and are quite mopey about it, I ask this question: "why?"
There are people who are fine being single, people who love being in love, people who crave companionship, and people who could care less. No matter who you are or what you want out of life, is Valentine's Day really worth getting yourself worked up over? Most adults I know take Valentine's Day for what it generally is, at a bare minimum: a chance to spend time with someone you care about - whether it's friends, family, or a significant other. Why do so many single people get so worked up over Valentine's Day? Beyond the cards, flowers, and expensive dinners, it's just another day. I can do cards, flowers, and dinners any other day of the year (and I will), so why get all mopey on just one day a year?
Even for me, who (at the time of this writing) is in a relationship, I don't make a big deal out of Valentine's Day. I might be told differently by my significant other, but there is certainly no need to get too crazy about expressing love for one another. If nothing else, the most memorable part of Valetine's Day for me has always been seeing friends, and eating just plain good food (Campus Pollyeyes). No fancy dinners for me.
Saturday Updates - Quick and Easy
And here I am... worn the hell out. The last couple of days have been CRAZY like crazy has never been. From Wednesday night until 8:00am this morning, I've been running around all of BG, either for work, school, or getting ready for last night's masquerade ball. Today I rest, and nothing more.
The ball was not too bad. It didn't seem to be well-attended (I'd guess about 80 people max?), but that's sort of how I liked it: most everyone seemed to get along great, we had a delicious dinner, and the music wasn't half bad (although entirely too predictable). The weather was a bit cold, and some people were a bit too loud, but all in all, I had a good time. If nothing else, wearing my suit was awesome and seeing everyone dressed up all nice-like was worthwhile.
Also, Valentine's Day was certainly something special this year, highlighted by a delicious Campus Pollyeye's feast, the Discovery Channel, and lounging around with the people I care about the most - in other words, exactly what I would have done any other day of the week. But it was still very, very, very awesome :-)
And now, my little fingers are tired of blogging... so I'm off to relax for the rest of the day.
B3 out.
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