Ten years.
It has been ten years since I took the plunge into a new world that was supposed to change me. For much of my teenage years, I dreamed of accomplishing several goals - some driven by passion, others by romance, and a few by hormones. 2013 is the decade anniversary of many accomplishments in my life, but also marks the beginning of many failures, some of which continue to this day. While I always strive to learn from my mistakes, some of the past ten years represent me at my worst.
Still, the last ten years have been nothing less than the prime of my life thus far. 2003 kicked off a flurry of changes in my life: graduation from high school, entry into college, a ton of new friends in my life (thanks to Meijer and BGSU), a new career path inside Meijer that boosted my professional outlook, and of course, all those wonderful people that have influenced me over the years.
Near the end of high school I had almost no idea where I would have been in ten years. I had some vague predictions, though: probably working a decent job, married or close to it, and living in the Perrysburg area. It looks like I was mostly right: I love my job and I live in Perrysburg, but I have sacrificed my social life for my professional pursuits. I am nowhere near married and have no idea of when I will get there. But I have no regrets about this course. Yet.
I left high school as a social butterfly, but have since struggled to find that easy-going attitude that led me into so many great relationships back then. I consider this a form of poison at my age. With four years of professional development now paying off, I am in a position to meet new people, make new friends, and reconnect with old ones. Despite being so well off, I find that I have trouble moving back to that socially-inclined guy I was ten years ago, which brings me to the ultimate point of this post: through all the ups and downs of the last ten years, am I letting the "downs" get the best of my "ups?"
In ten years I have made a few critical mistakes that have forced me to seriously question what kind of moral person I am. Yes, that sounds like a serious charge, but I do honestly believe that a serious faux pas here and there have led me to lose confidence in myself. Ten years ago today I took a plunge that helped me understand so many teenage curiosities while throwing so many cans of gasoline onto a fire that I did not know existed. Ten years of festering on these issues and issues like these have came to a head in the last two months, bringing my life to a halt while I re-evaluate what I want out of the next ten years of my life.
As it turns out, its time for me to start being a nice guy again.
Happy Valentine's Day, everyone.
B3 out.
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