This Is Not the Reboot You're Looking For

Reboot Weekends are absolutely pivotal to me. I disconnect myself from my usual routine, try new things, unplug my computers, and turn off my mobile phone for an entire weekend. No texts, no calls, no Internet. This invites the kind of peace and quiet that I need sometimes, and allows for the kind of self-reflection that I do not usually allow myself.

This weekend I did a Reboot with the expectations of analyzing my current place in 2012: what goals I have accomplished, where I am heading, what relationships I want or need, and what I have yet to accomplish for the year. Frustratingly enough, it took me all weekend to simply arrive at the answer of "I'm not on track." In fact, this weekend was a prime example of what is wrong with me lately: I have improper motivation. My goals for 2012 have become vague, and thus my drive to complete anything wholly has disappeared. While I spend lots of time writing, programming, and reading, I am getting nothing done in these crafts.

But anyhow, a brief summary of what I did this weekend:

Saturday started with a huge 34 mile bike ride that took me from my apartment in Perrysburg to Oak Openings. I ended the ride sore, blurry-eyed, and unusually tired. I need to do this ride more often.

Given the warm temperatures and impending rain, I dashed out to Oak Openings Sunday morning and played in the rain - literally. After a short hike to grab a few pictures, I was caught in an intense summer downpour. I took a short hike around Mallard Lake in this warm rain and all-around enjoyed myself.

I spent Sunday afternoon doing laundry and getting real, productive writing done on an upcoming project, but that was the extent of my weekend. I devised a new weekly schedule, reworked my weekly food options, and cleaned my apartment.

Something was missing this past weekend. I was not able to shut my mind off or completely cut the Internet cord. This was not the Reboot Weekend I needed. It was just a weekend alone. I do not feel re-energized or confident or ready for the second half of the year. In fact, I am ready for another Reboot. The best Reboot weekends come right off a major meltdown, but I should not have to suffer through that just to find a new beginning.

Now that I know what little I am actually capable of in a time of need, I know that I need to be more drastic the next time I do this.

My next Reboot Weekend will be sooner rather than later, and a hell of a lot more meaningful.

B3 out.