Sexy Bruno

I'm actually taking time away from my English 333 essay to write this post. Then again, something has been bugging me, and it's time to get it out.

First of all, you'll notice that this post is very similar to this one and it's sequel. Feel free to reread them if you wish. They are both from November of last year.

Because of recent events of late (the past two weeks or so) and events that could soon take place, I have had to ask myself something:

What is my stance on sex?

This isn't meant to be my opinion or a commentary on the state of sexual affairs in society. That's what my previous posts were for. Now I have to ask myself the question: what do I want out of sex and why do I want to engage in such activity?

My honest answer to that question seems a bit convoluted, and in contrast to my definition of who I want to be, it certainly seems like I'm a bit of a hypocrite.

I've typically considered myself the proper gentleman in many regards, especially when it comes to the pursuit of physical pleasure. Take things slow, never push a woman, and build a reasonable and honest relationship prior to engaging in any major activity. It turns out over the years that what I consider "major" has changed.

Only one of my three past sex partners occurred while in a relationship. The other two were by no means random and pointless, but simply occurred after the fact that a relationship took place, so there was at least some experience and attachment already involved.

Enough history... to the point...

I've been through a very good, long lasting relationship, as well as a short and sweet one. Both involved sex. Given all my responsibilities with school, personal projects, and other miscellaneous tidbits here and there in my life, I've finally decided that much of what I said last November is indeed who I am: I could have sex within a loving relationship or randomly with a close friend all the same, by virtue of the fact that I've warn out one and have yet to experience the other.

Am I saying that I must make love to a friend just for the sake of having a new experience? Certainly not... and I do still firmly believe that exclusivity should still apply; that is, I may be close several friends at once, but I'm certainly not going to engage in physical activity with more than one. Sex does require a strong degree of care, attention, and attachment. I still stand by these virtues, even if the sex does not come from a perfectly loving relationship.

Yet, in addition to all that's been said thus far, there's still a part of my that simply wants to have sex. Yes, I'm a dude, and you could argue that I'm just a horn-ball, but sometimes good fun can be had from sex, if done in a proper manner.

Well that's all I have to share for now. I'll update this post in the near future as more thoughts/concerns/ideas come to mind, but for now I need to shift into full-on essay mode for school. Out.