Critically Correct isn't dead, but its author has been - to keep it short - lost.
I haven't been myself lately. Work has been taking a toll on me, with long days and lots of stress, not to mention constant worries over job security. It's terrible how awful and worn I feel when I come home some nights.
When I do get home, I sit on my ass. I play games, games, and more games. Where's the daily exercise I promised myself? Where's all the fantastic writing that I crave to crank out. Where's the new skills I've been wanting to learn?
Nowhere to be found, that's where. I am not myself, and I can't get out of this rut. I constantly feel like I'm going nowhere, even though I have grand ambitions somewhere inside myself. I'm definitely considering a reboot weekend to try to reverse this, but I'll be damned if I don't see my friends every weekend... one weekend to myself is WAY too much to ask of them.
At this point, with my motivation at an all-time low, I'm desperately seeking a way out of my own mind. How much longer can I keep on like this? Work - games - bed. Rinse and repeat. I can never find the courage, strength, or motivation to do anything else. It's awful. I feel like I'm dead.
Music isn't helping. Candlebox, Tantric, Alanis, Bush, Creed - all of my favorites are not doing a damn thing for me, and for anyone who knows me well, that says a lot.
What does a person do when they feel this lost, this far removed from the person they used to be?
Damn you, winter; go away. I need to get outside. I need to remember what made me who I am today. I need to see where I went wrong recently. I need to remember.
If anyone needs me, I'll be watching The Lion King.
B3 Out.
