And To All A Good Night...

Merry Christmas, everyone.

My list of presents?

A new wallet, some DVDs, clothes, and gift cards. Definitely a worthy bunch, and I'm very glad to be part of a family that can still celebrate with each other year after year.

Now for me, it's back to work tomorrow at 6:30am, and in two weeks, back to school... ugh...

Waiting, Wishing...

It's been awhile since I've written, and with good reason.

Okay, so there is no good reason, other than laziness on my part. It's hard to find the proper means of excitment to get off my ass and write away. Oh well, I hope things pick up after Christmas.

The Truth of Lonely...

Stupid and Small... But Important

Holy hell, none of the images on my stie work... well how about that... I must've lost them when we made the transition from WCNet to Verizon DSL...

Damn...

To Be Or...

Anyone getting bored of my blog's color scheme yet? Me too. Look for some big changes after finals week.

Blogger to Facebook

I had originally posted this morning, but something went wrong with Blogger while the publication was in progress, and my post seems to have mysteriously disappeared...

Anywho, I had originally wanted to post a poem that I recently wrote, but decided for a bit more privacy in the short-term. If you are on The Facebook, hit up my profile for the same poem, entitled "The Reality."

Been Awhile?

Yes, I know it's been awhile since I've written. In the past week I've had my old ISP finally pull the plug on me while my new, shiny Verizon Online DSL slowly but surely takes over. Now that I'm up and running, it's back to school... almost as normal; finals week starts on the 12th... it should be fun...

"It always is..."

In the Beginning...

"I don’t mind stealing bread
From the mouths of decadence
But I can’t feed on the powerless
When my cup’s already overfilled
But it’s on the table
The fire is cooking
And they’re farming babies
While the slaves are working
The blood is on the table
And their mouths are choking
But I’m growing hungry..."

And so it begins... my big push to the end of the year, all in the name of one person...

I'm sure gonna be hungry...

Fw: American Idiot

Ever get a ton of those "FW: Fw: Fw: duDe!!!!" kind of e-mails in your inbox?

You know the kind... the kind that want you to "forward this on to 15 friends within 4 hours and press F6 to see your crush's name appear on screen! it's so freaky!!!"

Don't they suck? My question... who the hell actually spends their time to forward this crap on to me, only so I can waste my time sorting them out straight into my trash...

And now The Facebook even has them going around... one word:

WTF?

Nighty Night....

Qdoba's + bowling + bars (*sigh*... but only one drink between four bars...) = helluva night.

New Shorts...

I've spent the last few days devising a new short story plot, and today I've officially begun to put ideas to paper. I'm aiming to write a short four-part series of 2-page short stories. Stay tuned.

Holiday Celebration

With the holidays here and myself with no spirit to care about it, I'm putting my best foot (and wallet) forward to do what I do best: make the holidays as great for everyone else as possible. In addition to a couple of oddball Christmas presents for some peeps, I'm planning on a full week of activities spanning between Christmas and New Years Day.

Stay tuned for details to come...

"It's the End of the World As We Know It"

For me, a new chapter shall begin.

For the world, I hide eternally in your shadow.

To my friends, I utterly apologize for what you're about to see.

To my family, I love you more than anything after all that has happened.

And to that little voice in my head that says I did the wrong thing - "fuck you!"

Pyro

What a busy weekend.

Winter Wheat (link) kicks off tomorrow at BGSU, and I'm very excited about that. Look for me in the Student Union for Steve Almond's fiction reading at 7:30pm.

I'll be tied of all day Saturday and parts of Sunday with WW, so voicemail on the cell will become my best friend for getting ahold of peeps. Give me a ring if you wanna go out Friday or Saturday night!

In other news... today's quote... this time from Switchfoot's song "On Fire"

"And you’re on fire
When he’s near you
You’re on fire
When he speaks
You’re on fire
Burning at these mysteries..."

Out.

"I"ve seen better days..."

Four weeks of school is all that we BGSU-ians have left. Ain't that news good enough for the day?

Perhaps there is no better respresentation of my situation than this very blog entry. As I write this, Lacey is sitting comfortably next to me. Even as I feel more and more independent, yet depressed, I can't quite get that magical feeling that I have of her out of my head and heart... it pains, really.

"Greed"

"I want you to myself
greedy is all I am
I want to love you forever
and show you the wrongs
I've made right

Then I want to kiss, hold,
and tell you how much
you mean to me, the world over..."

- a poem I wrote one day (hint: today)

Healing A Heart

Day 7-

Day six was a bust - I was away all day. My last day of freedom is upon me (at least, until Christmas break), and it started with a horrible, horrible, horrible drop into deep depression and angst over my former relationship with Lacey... now emerging, I present a few links that I've found helpful (more to come!):

http://teenadvice.about.com/library/bl10thingsbreakingup.htm

http://www.askmen.com/dating/heidi_100/112_dating_girl.html

http://www.kalimunro.com/tips_break_ups.html

Day 4-

Single, single, single...

It's the buzzword of the day, and I'm trying to get it as far out there as possible!

Although I'm certainly not looking for a serious relationship right now, feel free to get a hold of me if you're looking for something to do on an otherwise lonely Friday or Saturday night ;-)

Out.

"She Feeds Him..."

Day 3-

One day I'll stop writing like this...

"Memories back when she was bold and strong,
And waiting for the world to come along,
Swears she knew it, now she swears he’s gone,
She lies and says she’s in love with him, can’t find a better man..."

I hope you find a better man, Lacey-Leigh.

Friends, Lies, and You

Shit happens - and some people never grow up.

The events of the last few days have renewed my interest in a long-delayed writing project of mine, once upon a time entitled "Translucency: Special Edition" - the complete biography of a teenage relationship blossoming into full-blown love. Now that the circle is complete and I'm moving on with my life, one day I hope to reflect on the past 5 years and share my story with the world... just a little slice of love - and the pain most everyone goes through at some point.

No Tears

After my first full (and official) day as a new, reborn, single man... I only know one thing for sure: don't ever let personal demons come in between you and the woman you love. Love ot me is worth more than anything in the world, and now I'm missing it...

But...

It is a chance to get a new start, which is exactly what I'm doing. I have several goals for myself set in place, all of which are due before Christmas. I'll get back soon with a few of those ideas...

End of Things

1:21AM
Saturday
November 5th
2005

With that, it is over.

Going Places

School's almost over? What?

Four full weeks (accounting for Veteran's Day and Thanksgiving Break) are all that's left for us kids to get through until a four-week winter break.

Sweeeeeeeeeeeeet.

Regrets

"Memories back when she was bold and strong,
And waiting for the world to come along,
Swears she knew it, now she swears he’s gone,

She lies and says she’s in love with him, can’t find a better man,
She dreams in color, she dreams in red, can’t find a better man,
She lies and says she still loves him, can’t find a better man..."

Damn you, Pearl Jam...

Almost Home Is Here

Almost Home is done. E-Mail me if you'd like a copy. I can arrange digital distribution or you may recieve a free hardcopy either in person or via snail mail.

Features!

A new feature has been added to the right. You can now view my weekly schedule to see what my workload looks like. Enjoy.

Index Values Say A Lot

Coming Soon

"Almost Home" will be 'published' so-to-speak this Monday, October 31st. Free copies will be made available to anyone who requests it, so please feel free to send an email to the address on the right.

Oh, and Happy Halloween.

. . .

"And I'll cry for you
Yes, I'll die for you
Pain in my heart it is real
And I'll tell you now how I feel inside
Feel in my heart, it's for you
And I'll take everything
As it comes my way
Pushin' your pain 'round my door
Will I cry for you as I die for you?
Is this blood on my hands all for you?"

Candlebox - "You"

Troubling Times

As I write this my life is falling apart... again...

When will the maddness stop?

Long Time, Little Talk

Been a while since I've written... and again, with good cause.

School kept me busy all last week; same with work over the weekend... and here we are, another week of school and (some) work at Meijer. Hopefully I'll have something interesting to say later this week after I finish the final revision of "Almost Home."

Linux All the Way

Praise for Ubuntu!

Ubuntu Linux Review

Joy... and here's a screenshot of my Ubuntu desktop:

http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/6718/506/1600/ubuntu1.jpg

'Nuff Said

"We live on front porches and swing life away
We get by just fine here on minimum wage
If love is a labor I'll slave 'til the end
I won't cross these streets until you hold my hand

I've been here so long I think that its time to move
The winter's so cold summer's over too soon
Let's pack our bags and settle down where palm trees grow
And I've got some friends some that I hardly know
We've had some times I wouldn't trade for the world
We chase these days down with talks of the places that we will go..."

- Rise Against - Swing Life Away

Figures...

Toledo's fifteen-minutes of fame, right here:


(click here for link to article)

The Truth of the Matter

Quoted directly from the movie "Kinsey" (my new favorite flick, for it's honest dipiction of human relations and the affects that modern and historical societies have on sexual being).

Here's one of my favorite quips from the movie:

"In the bonobo chimpanzee--
our nearest primate relation--
sex is the glue
of social cohesion and peace.
Cleared of notions like romantic love...
or religion or morality,
their society's behavior
hangs together
as a coherent unit
of biology and conditioning.

Based on the experiences of females
who have contributed to our histories...
we have observed a wide range
of motivations for extramarital coitus.
At times, it is a conscious or unconscious
attempt to acquire social status.

In other instances,
it gives them a variety of experiences...
with new sexual partners who are sometimes
superior to their marriage partner.
There are occasions
when it is done in retaliation...
for the partner's
extramarital activity...
or for some sort
of nonsexual mistreatment.

Some females discover new sources
of emotional satisfaction...
while others find it impossible to share
such an intimate relationship...
with more than one partner.

We have also encountered
a considerable group of cases...
in which husbands encourage their wives
to engage in extramarital activities...
in an honest attempt
to give them the opportunity...
for additional sexual satisfaction."

The Drinking Game

I had my first drink last night, a classic martini from B-Dubs. It wasn't anything special, and I didn't finish more than a few sips, given that was the driver for three other people and have never had a drink in my life up to that point... I wanted to start easy. All in all, the night was a better-than-average Wednesday... B-Dubs, a quick trip to Junction (great place...), and finally ending at Craig's apartment for a while.

I'm looking forward to next Wednesday a lot...

Back to Basics?

Back to school, anyway...

Fall Break was short but productive, and above all else, was a very welcome break in the middle of a very hectic semester. "Almost Home 2" (still without an official name) is coming along nicely, and my final draft of "Almost Home" is nearly finished, at which time I will begin a search for a publisher.

Anywho, today is looking to set the record for "longest day ever," as worked this morning at 6am, and still have a full day of classes to get through; including my 7pm CS 217 class, and THEN...

THEN...

It's a full night out, starting at B-Dubs and ending at Junction or who the hell knows where...

Kinsey

I watched "Kinsey" for the first time today... and wow! What a great movie.

The movie started off very strong, a series of flashbacks and credits, eventually leading into the early years of Alfred Kinsey's life. Although the middle of the film became a bit confusing for me, the ending really picks up and sums up the message and moral really well without being preachy.

Certainly, "Kinsey" is a film that I'm sorry I didn't orginally see in theaters last year. Worth a rental, and certainly a purchase.

Twenty-One

It's been a while since I've wrote - and with good cause. I'm so damn busy lately. Last week was a hard push to finish test week, and this week has been constant birthday celebration... at least, on an internal level, as I reflect on how things are going for me at school and at work.

Anywho... the biggest surprise of my 21st birthday has actually been from my girlfriend: she showed up to my house yesterday with a bag full of goodies that I completely wasn't expecting, especially since she's been going on and on about how she didn't know what she was going to get me.

I certainly do appreciate it.

Now back to my escapism...

"Mac"ing It

I've spent more time this semester using OS X on Macs than at any time up to this point in my life. What can I say about it? I love it. It's beautiful, and I can't figure out why I've gone so long without it. Although my day-to-day life requires that I stayed tied to PC-based apps, I'm certainly planning to buy a Mac of some sort in the future.

The Home Stretch

It's blogging time again...

My entire weekend was a crappy one - Friday night, Satureday morning, and all day Sunday - entirely devoted to work... which sucked, to say the least.

Test Week 2 is coming up as well. Once I get through a CS quiz and a Stats test, I'll be pretty much kicking back as I go into my birthday week, which happens to include Fall Break and the Applebutter Fest all starting the weekend of October 7th.

See you on the other side...

Re-Runs?

Again, last night I had another one of my "nude dreams" where I find myself in a completely fictional, yet entirely believable place (a small apartment, in last night's case), and spend the entire dream focusing on everything but nothing until a girl appears naked in some way or the other. Sure enough, last night she had the same qualities as my past experiences: skinny, blonde (or semi-blonde, I can't quite remember), and no particularly defining features. What makes last night's dream stand out so much is that for the first time in these dreams, the nunde person was one of my friends...

And one I haven't seen in many months...

Just like my "pool in the clouds" dream, I'm considering adding this scene to Blocchi...

Whenever that may get finished.

Bored

Yes, I haven't felt like writing much. Hell, I haven't felt like doing much of anything other than play Day of Defeat, of which I'm preparing to buy the upgrade, DoD: Source soon.

If anyone has any motivation-starters, please send them my way... I'm so bored all week long!

Weekend Fun

The countdown begins. Once my bulk of classes are over at 2:20pm today, my weekend begins...

Without work this weekend, I'm looking forward to enjoying it, and although the weather may not be too great, I'm still looking forward to sitting around the house or going out with friends. Get a hold of me if you wanna do something!

Tomorrow...

Test day for me!

A quiz in math, stats, and a test in computer science... sweet! (total sarcasm)

In the mean time, I'm keeping up with the latest news out of Japan with the Tokyo Game Show. I'll post tomorrow with all my thoughts and details on day one.

Almost There... "Almost Home"

In order to spread the word about my upcoming short story, currently (and not finally) titled "Almost Home 2," I have made the entire original "Almost Home" available for reading. It is available as a Microsoft Word document. Let me know if you have any trouble opening it up.

Here it is: Almost Home

What Means Most to Me

I've hit a very sudden brick wall... and for the first time in years, I'm lost like I'm never coming back. My girlfriend hates me, she just doesn't say it... I don't mean to be a bum, but what am I supposed to do when I've been so down lately?

It's an endless spiral...

School's Cool?

Okay, so maybe it is sometimes...

But attending a major state university such as Bowling Green means that every week there is something going on to break the monotony of class-work-sleep-class-work-sleep. Last week we had Labor Day, shortening my week down to just three days. This week we have nothing.

Oh well.

I added my first two "Most-Read Blogs" on the right hand panel, and did-away with that waste-of-space "About" box at the top of the panel, instead replacing it with my pretty mug. Hope you'll enjoy!

Links Galore

I'm going to start posting links to some of the blogs I read the most, some on a daily basis. Keep an eye on the right-hand panel for links to show up!

Doggy Style

Nintendogs is in the house and in my DS. If you're out and about on the BGSU campus and happen to share my interests with the game, "Bark Mode" will be your best friend...

Black is Best

Yesterday I tried a can of Mountain Dew's latest offering: Pitch Black II.

To my surprise, it's one of the best soft drinks that I've ever tasted. The "sour punch" gives it an energy drink feel, but the grape isn't over-powered. I look forward to enjoying this particular take on Mountain Dew for as long as I can. I may even have to stock up on some of it, much as I did (and still have) Sprite Remix: Tropical.

Jibber-Jabber

I'm posting now, only because I have nothing else to do. I've literally spent the entire day wallowing about my house, wondering what else there is to do in the little bit of summer we have left. The nights get colder with each passing week, and the days don't quite make 80 degrees.

Tonight I'm going to Prout Chapel at BGSU to listen to the undergraduate fiction and poetry readings. Although I've had major trouble keeping my eyes open during previous readings, I'm finally taken my Creative Writing Minor serious enough to get involved in the community. Maybe one day I'll even finish "Meltdown."

Paying For It

Gas prices in Bowling Green have officially hit the $3.00+ mark. Most stations are now selling gas for $3.09 a gallon (as of 5:30pm).

And it'll only get worse:

$4.00 A Gallon Gas

Katrina

In the wake of Hurricane Katrina, I was quick to notice that NASA's WorldWind application already has full-resolution Katrina images available. In fact, as of this writing, the image I provided is barely over 24 hours old. Check it out.

Day by Day

School is school I guess. After working a quick 7-hour day at Meijer (*sigh*), I'm back at home to plug away on a ton of homework... next week... quiz week!

I also also pleasantly surprised to find a few aquaintences of mine adding me to their Facebook friends list. Well then... a shoutout to Martha and Jennie!

A Week Later

After a full week of school, I can safely say that this will be a very busy semester for me. I'm fairly excited about the prospect of a new job.. self-employment, anyway. The official "Alternate Control Computing" website will soon be online to allow access to all of my services, focusing on computer repair, sales, and upgrades.

Talking Like a Baby

Google Talk has finally hit today, and after a brief introduction to it this morning, seems like an incredibly awesome, ad-free (for now), lightweight communication tool that I look forward to using more extensively tomorrow. I'll have my thoughts on it posted later tomorrow afternoon.

Counting the Hours

School's almost here.

After a long morning at work, I'm enjoying my last weekend the best I can. Hit me up on AIM if you find yourself as board as I am!

Final Day of Freedom

Well, here it is... my final day of freedom for 2005. I work the next four days - four LONG days - and then start school back at BGSU on Monday. Although I'm looking forward to going back to school (it does a good job of keeping me out of the house), I'm not looking forward to constantly being busy with studying. However, I do get to write lots of poems (and maybe my own shorts) for part of a class, and I know I'll enjoy that.

For those wondering what I've been doing most of my day, here's my dog, Elli, trying to sleep soundly
after all the walking she's done today.

Downtime!

WCNet's ATM exchange servers seem to have went offline for about an hour tonight, making it the biggest pain-in-the-neck ever... but I forgive them... an hour of downtime is nothing compared to the stuff we go through at work (Meijer). Servers are down for what seems like days at a time there - sur emake smy job fun. Anywho, that's the only thing I got for tonight, but stay tuned for some major updates soon...

School in one week.

Ubun.... what?

Since not everyone is a self-certified tech geek like me, I don't expect much interest in this particular post, but for those interested, I am running Ubuntu Linux on my Inspiron 5150 laptop, and it's working out pretty sweet...

Hands down my favorite Linux distro yet, 100% Debian based, too...

My Desktop:

Getting Nekkid

That's right... NAKED...

In a world disgusting enough for me to throw up on, the idiodic American way of "AHH, boobies... hide the kids!" is enough to make me laugh. Omid gets it right:

Second Hand Smoke: Naked Transgressions

The Best?

Although it's certainly a niche game, the Harvest Moon series has consistently since 1997 been in my "Top 10" lists of favorite games. Perhaps cherished more than any other game is the SNES original, "Harvest Moon."

New editions have added subtitles and expanded the gameplay immensely, perhaps even feeling jealousy from more popular, rather newer games like "The Sims."

But Harvest Moon has always stuck by it's original premise: turning a run-down farm into a behemoth of livestock, thriving endless fields of crops, and to even portray family life (marriage!). I'm sure everyone has their favorite game in the series, but mine personal favorite is indeed the original game. It wasn't overly complicated with characters, or focused heavily on things like building friendships or discovering harvest sprites. It was straight-forward: one large, expansive, boundless field to clear and grow, one ever-changing mountain, and a town full of colorful characters.

Perhaps newer editions, like the Playstation 2 and GameCube releases, have been less than steller for me because raw farming takes a backseat to the towns-people. I long for the endless nights of the SNES orginal... "one more day and I'll quit," I would tell myself hour after hour until 3am.

*sigh*

I do miss it...

:-(

Talk about depressed. I'm simply not used to being yelled at, be it by a boss, parent... let alone girlfriend... what did I do wrong?

Eve 6

"Can’t get this shit off my mind,
I just want to be alright,
So just tell me nothing’s wrong,
Then get undressed and spend the night!"

Eve 6 said it the best!

Workin'

Well it's back to work for me today. I'm pulling the (semi) late shift, 12 to 9... which only means i'll be on lane a whole lot. Darn college kids... they should bring everything they need with them. Either that or simply force their parents to move too, so they can live at home and have all the amentities they need... kinda like me.

Marble Slab Goodness

For months I've driven eight unnecessary miles. I've paid five dollars too much. This week, I've discovered Marble Slab Creamery in downtown Bowling Green... and damn is it good!

Its nearest competition is a whole town over, and for the price, isn't worth it (I'll leave names be). For all intents and purposes, Marble Slab takes the gold. Smooth, creamy, homemade ice cream steals the show, and is helped by a wide and delicious assortment of mix-ins, from candy to nuts to fruit. A friendly and far-from-overbearing setting helps set the mood, while a pristinely-clean dining area screams "quality upkeeping."

It's hard to express just how damn refined and excellent Marble Slab really is, but if you live within the Bowling Green, Ohio area, you owe it to yourself and all your friends to check it out. It's located on Main Street, just south of Wooster St, with parking in the rear.

Fair-Play

The Wood County Fair is the same as always... food, animals, heat, (oddly enough no rain), and rides. So far, it's been a blast going every night, although the heat's finally gotten to me, and tonight I'm taking it easy at home and around BG.

Slow Day

Another Monday off work has led to another day on the computer. I walked our dog, Elli, this morning, which was pleasant, but hot. In another week, with all good intentions, I plan to have a new website up and running on my WCNet server, so keep an eye out for that...

Rivers Eroding

After walking my dog this morning, it occured to me how quickly childhood memories are disappearing. Take Grand Rapids, Ohio, for example. A town that I didn't learn to appreciate until a few years ago, I still have a few memories from years past that could in theory, within fifty years, be gone. Erosion is tearing the edges of the town apart.

Resting on the Maumee River, a beautiful walking trail that runs along it is quickly falling into the water, piece by piece, becase of erosion. I remember the trail being a lot smoother - wider even - many years ago. Year after year, more frequent floods add to this problem. My worry... what happens when the trail is gone? If I want to enjoy my time by the river, by my lonesome; to escape troubles, where do I go?

I guess downstream...

Working It

What a day. Worked 5:30am until about 2pm, ran some errands, and now I'm off for the rest of the day... maybe swimming, maybe walking the dog... but since I got the next two days off, anyone who wants to get together hit up my cell... this will be the only time I publish it! (419) 308-1637

I'm Back!

Well after a short (long?) break, I'm returning to the world of blogging. With school starting in less than a month, I'm taking the time to prepare myself: new computer, new clothes, new organization software, and yes, a blog to keep my busy thoughts in check. Out.