Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Approaching Normal - How Appropriate

What can I say about the last week? "Yikes" is about it.

I went into last week with a huge load of work to be done at CRI - enough to keep me busy for a while. But at the same time I had a cloud hanging over my head: I was awaiting the results of my Holter Monitor from the week prior, and Wednesday at noon I was thrown into the hospital with the worry that I have a bad heart.

Lo and behold, I do.

Long story short, I stayed the night in St. Anne's hospital in Toledo while I was observed in ICU for ventricular tachycardia (V-Tach): a very serious form of abnormal hearth rhythm that is known to be fatal if left untreated. Scary for me? Absolutely. But as of today I'm on a path towards long-term correction.

Being put in this whole situation at only 24 years old has really taken a psychological toll on me, which I'm doing my best to cope with. I've considered a lot of possibilities lately: did I do something wrong to cause my heart problem, am I destined for a heart attack now, will it hurt if I go out with a failing heart, what would happen to everyone around me if I died so young?

If nothing else, I have found a very, very good starting point for me to finally spring into my "To Do" lists and get working on my short- and long-term goals. While it feels easy to mope around all day long and contemplate the "what if's" of my problems, I would rather pass the time until my death - whether it's next week, next decade, or fifty years out - living life to the fullest.

And that's absolutely what I will do.

B3 out.

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