There's a notion, a feeling, an indisputable feeling of euphoria that comes from craving something, wanting something, fighting for something, and desiring something, even if it does or does not come to you in any amount of time.
At various points in my life I have desired something - a goal to be achieved, if you will - and lately I've been taking a hard look at the distinct lack of a driving force in my life. Looking back, high school was distintly the most important time of my life in terms of driving force: of course it was a girl that I desired, and the desire was strong enough to push me to do new, drastic things sometimes. In other places in my life, it has been video games - the anticipation and build up to a major game release (Ocarina of Time, for example) or a big console release (4am in Toledo at Best Buy for the Gamecube, anyone?).
Ultimately, it's not what the driving force in my life is, but what it does to me that matters. Without a driving force in my life right now, I feel lethargic and stale, as if I'm not going anywhere. With this in mind, the obvious is clear: I need to figure out what brings out the butterflies in my stomach again; what pushes me to do new things; something to be excited about. Right now I'm stuck in routine, and it's still killing me.
No comments:
Post a Comment