And so it goes, vice-versa, that "ignorance is bliss." If the truth removes all meaning and purpose from life, then what could the average human being even desire to have anymore... what is the purpose of a meaningless life?
Fortunately for most people, such deep concepts are regulated for religion to deal with. Being an atheist (although a sometimes spirited one, at that), I only see religion as a path of the Blue Pill: a false pretense that ensnares one to keep his or her life in check, to bring meaning and purpose.
The purpose of my banter/rant/bashing: I'm back, and as stressed as ever.
Rather than drone on about my miserable life, here's a summary of my time off (and summer thus far), as told with my oh-so-favorite hit list.
- My Summer of Biking has been going better than expected, although not as well as I originally hoped. Originally I expected to biking four days a week, while maintaining a high-protein and high-fiber diet. I bike on average three days a week and eat tons of junk food to go along with it. I think the two just barely cancel each other out. Oh well.
- Meijer goes as well as can be. I'm still enjoying working in Grocery. About once a week someone in the store asks me if I like Grocery more than Systems. Yes, the answer is YES. It's amazing that I've been doing this "new" job for 8 months now, and some people act like it was yesterday that I transferred. A rubbish. I work a steady weekly routine that affords me thirty hours, three days off, and I still make plenty of money to save up for a big end-of-summer purchase.
- World of Warcraft has completely consumed me, although I have learned when and how to put it down in favor of my "normal" life. One thing has been decided, however - I'll certainly maintain my playing it into the new school year. I'm quite active in-world, and I do enjoy making a WoW session part of my daily life, which I feel is better for me than a constant "just hook it to my veins!!!"-obsessed mentality, which causes me to generally disregard all my friends and normal life.
- I've been plugging away SLOWLY on Event Horizon. I consider this short story to be my next "big release" - and it better well damn be; it's been cooking for over two years now, maybe three (honestly, I lost count). The story originally started as a concept: I tend to have very trippy dreams, particularly when certain dreams cross over into waking thought throughout the middle of the night. I originally envisioned Event Horizon as a means to share some of my dreams, although I initially was unsure of how to tie such random sequences together. The original draft for the story has been done for quite some time, but I've had trouble finishing it due to major logic gaps. About two weeks ago I decided to fix this issue by cutting out large sections of the story that seemed "extraneous." The Event Horizon that I'm now targeting for release is a much quicker read than the original design. I look forward to its completion by the end of summer.
- I've been egged on lately about a situation that's all-too familiar to me. I've had feelings for two people at once, told each of them many of the same things, then got busted for such. This isn't the first time that I've done something like this. What's more worrisome is that in the act of doing it, I don't even think rationally - I simply do it without realizing that I doing anything wrong. What makes the latest problem so bad is that the people involved each fulfill a certain need/want of mine that I'm lacking in my life, meaning that I've had to turn to each one in the same light to meet my "needs." Obviously, this is idiotic of me. I've done this so many times before it's amazing I haven't been killed by now.
Which brings me to the Blue Pill. I often ignore the truths in my life in order to fully live out whatever I deem suits me best... even if it involves lying. I've spent much of the last month, and very recently, the last couple of weeks, vigiourously debating what is best for me: the path of the Blue Pill, doing what I fancy first, lying to get there, and thinking short-term, or the path of the Red Pill, knowing my strengths, faults, and weaknesses ahead of time, in order to overcome them in the long-term.
I've decided to leave the Blue Pill alone for a while and focus on the truths in my life: I have addictions that I need to overcome, school needs to become a higher priority in the next year, and I must return to the younger-minded me: a caring, selfless individual. It will be a long path to that goal. I'm integrating much of these ideals into my B3.0 Initiative, and I'll certainly share details of that progress soon.
In the meantime, does anyone have a glass of water? This Red Pill looks too huge to swallow...
Out.
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