Three-Double-Zero

Just in case there were doubts (from both pundits and within myself), here I am.

300 blog posts strong.

I've decided to celebrate my 300th blog entry the same way I did with my 100th entry: reflection on the past, with an outlook to the future. Although this time, I'm almost entirely focused on the future. Why?

As much as I follow the "learn from your mistakes" mentality, upon reflecting on my past, I've almost always focused entirely on the mistakes I've made, rather than the positive accomplishments (however few they have been). Maturing isn't just a growing process, it's a learning process, and I'm still learning. I'll be a student forever.

300 is a big number, especially when you consider the beginnings of this blog are rooted in July 2005. So, on to the usual...

Stemming from and based directly on this blog, "B3: Critically Correct AudioCast Series" has launched! Abbreviated as "CCAC," it is at it's simplest, an audio version of my blog. With best intentions, I hope to post a new episode once a week, and Sundays will most likely be that day. Keep it locked to this blog for updates on that. The concept/show is still in its infancy, so please bear with me as I grow it, and by all means, leave feedback on what you think of it. The CCAC website that's currently up is temporary. I'm working on designing a full-fledged Blogger site, so hang tight.

Here's the link:


My Facebook profile has been updated. I cleaned up a bit of extra stuff around the edges. Call it "lean."

Well, what does 300 mean to me? Never before in my life (with the exception of video games) have I dedicated myself to something so much. Yes, I do like writing, but even my own stories/poems don't get as much dedicated and constant attention like this blog. Perhaps it is the fact that I have a public avenue to vent, or perhaps it is the notion I get everyday from seeing my site stats: every month for the last year I've seen my visitor stats double month-on-month. I like the attention :-)

So what goals have I set for myself lately? The list:

• Be a gentleman. I can talk about sex, games, and girls only so much. At some point earlier this year I realized that I'm not the proper gentleman that I used to be. Time to reboot.
• Be honest. I used to be a bad, habitual liar. I'm still a bad, habitual liar. I do not lie about the "big" things anymore (sex being a good example). I do lie, however, about my feelings, and in small, daily tasks... nothing serious, just enough to get by. I've noticed, however, that these small lies add up internally and are ripping me apart. When it comes to being honest to myself, here's a nice, big, *honest* example: When Lacey tries calling me some nights and I don't answer for hours on end because I'm busy with Colleen, I tell myself it's okay. Problem is, when she doesn't answer her phone for hours on end, I assume the worst (boys, boys, boys), simply because *I* do it first... I'm not afraid, I'm paranoid. How can I trust other people when I can't trust myself? Time to reboot.
• Be there. My friends are not the same people I had in high school. As where high school was a close, intimate affair where everyone knew everybody and their business, the "real world" now is not as friendly by comparison. I don't open up to all my friends nowadays, simply because time marches on, and I always wonder where I'll be from one day to the next. Despite this, I feel the need to be there for my friends, and I'm always afraid that I'm not open enough. I want to be the person my friends can trust one-hundred percent, the one they go to when "life's got them down." I hope I can do that for 'em. Time to reboot.
  

Any who, what's been up with me? I go to work five days a week, and the Grocery gig at Meijer isn't too bad. It's a lot of work to keep a department with 10,000-plus items priced properly, but I'm doing my best. On a personal level, I'm trying to get back into "Event Horizon," my short story (now novella-length). My Chemical Romance is the band that I currently can't get out of my CD player and away from my MP3 player. "The Black Parade," their newest album, is simply stunning. But you already knew that :-)

Finally, I'm going to wrap up post number 300 with some very random, risky shit. Here, in no particular order, are random thoughts/confessions/desires of mine, with (some) names included. Enjoy!

• I love you, Lacey, as my best friend and someone who, despite all the shit we've been through, still understands me the best.
• Kristin, you're nuts, adorable, and a wonderful friend.
• I've had gay thoughts before, but no, they weren't about your brother.
• I want to fuck a friend, make love to a partner, and play with myself. Being a dude is awesome.
• I honestly regret dating Colleen and not having the guts to end it properly. I'm a pussy and *not* proud of it.
• A cellphone is a wonderful tool. In the hands of twenty-thousand BGSU students, it's a nightmare.
• Meijer is just retail, it's just a job, and yet I honestly care about it... is that sad or scary?
• I don't want to wear glasses.
• Computer Science isn't fun anymore.
  

And with that, I'm out. See you at 301.