Getting Over It

I've just had a moment of inspiration; of awe. I've spent the past 8 days at Meijer -- working my ass off. This being my first day off in ages, I feel like no amount of time can satisfy me. I'm so fed up with slaving away at Meijer. My mind needs to be freed.

I'm at a loss for words. My life has suddenly become useless -- but only in feeling. Although I lack the motivation to entertain myself outside of video games, I also lack the motivation to free my mind from the rut it's currently in. I don't feel as if anything in my life can please me. Don't get me wrong; video games are a wonderful thing, a form of entertainment that truly takes my mind into another place, as they always have. Problem is, that place is quickly becoming almost too comfortable, as if I may begin to neglect my short- and long-term goals in my life. I've wanted to do so much this summer, from losing weight to finishing my short stories, and thus far, nothing is getting done.

It's easy to blame Lacey. She's always been the perfect distraction for me. But I'm lying to myself by saying "it'll be all right in the end." For as much as I say I hate drama, I'm the chief cause of it. I can't do this anymore. I'm looking for a way to free my mind to become the person I truly am.

Oddly enough, I've been looking to my dreams for answers to this. Just a few days ago I had a dream about a person that I've known for what seems like forever, but never really got to know. I've recently begun to take notice in her, however, and have realized that she's so strikingly similar to myself in terms of life's expectations, bumps, bruises, and quirks.

I think more than anything right now, it's good to know that someone out there has the same frustrations and sediments I do.